THE GIRL WHO REMEMBERED HER WORTH

(read to the end for events)

One of my favorite quotes is from Audre Lorde in her book “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power”:

The erotic has often been misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, the plasticized sensation.

For this reason, we have often turned away from the exploration and consideration of the erotic as a source of power and information, confusing it with its opposite, the pornographic.

But pornography is a direct denial of the power of the erotic, for it represents the suppression of true feeling. Pornography emphasizes sensation without feeling.

The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire.

After I read that quote, I reflected on the fact that I was all these girls:

·       the girl who hid in the bathroom stall to change for gym in high school

·       the girl whose grandmother told her that her legs were too big for that skirt

·       the girl whose mother disapproved of a low-cut tank top that she wore to scrape wallpaper in her own house

·       the girl who had a crush on a guy in high school who later threw pebbles at her legs and told his friend that her calves were fat – right behind her

·       the overweight girl who felt awkward in a leotard for ballet class

·       the girl who hated her body

·       the girl who was ashamed to be bisexual because her own church disapproved

·       the girl whose church had no beauty, creativity, or feminine touches outside of music

·       the girl who didn’t receive a “s*x talk,” who was handed a book and told to read it

·       the girl who didn’t receive a kiss until age 21

I grew up believing that s*x and my body were shameful, dirty things.

That I should wait until marriage to have s*x, and then stay with that one person until the day I died.

I was told a lot of things to make me believe that being a woman meant that suffering and pain were far more holy than pleasure.

That s*x was sinful when not inside of the proper confines described in the Bible.

As a young girl, I was an old soul.  Always very religious, and committed to the church through catechism at age 11.  I loved God, but often felt confused and resentful because if God was a man, and men/boys in my life hurt me, then how was he so good? If he rejected gay people that he created, how was he so good?

Since I was 12, I secretly had a high s*x drive.  I used to draw pictures of curvy women and then rip them up and place them in the bottom of a trash can so my parents wouldn’t see.  I fantasized about men and women as I got older.

In graduate school at the School for International Training (SIT Graduate Institute), a woman told me about a s*x toy party.  I was super curious because I had been raised to believe that those, like crystals, yoga, anything spiritual, was evil.  That it was bad, bad, bad.

And because I’m a Sagittarius (adventurous, optimistic, traveler), my cute little curiosity said, “I am going to check this out. I’m going to a s*x toy party!”

I think the simple thought that really confused me was, “Why, when these toys are meant to bring us pleasure, are they considered bad?”

The only thing that made sense to me was patriarchy and control.

Fast forward to my spiritual journey starting in 2015 when I began to honor my spirit, and my upper chakras (energy centers) opened to my gifts of psychic mediumship. 

And then life coaching I received from Joanna Naughton in 2023 when I began to honor my body.  A week after Jo told me I would benefit from opening my lower chakras through sensuality, I saw an ad on social media for Layla Martin’s VITA Love, Sex, & Relationships coaching program.

I jumped on the chance to learn more about owning my sensuality.  About Tantra. About releasing that my body and my pleasure are “bad” or “dirty.”

Last year, I attended Layla Martin’s Embodiment retreat in Costa Rica with 100 women.  Each day, we basked in the teachings, breathwork, and self-pleasure practices.  We were releasing generations of trauma.  We were coming home through our bodies.

My own grandmothers came to me from the other side to tell me how proud they are of my ability to heal through the embodiment work.  Through the owning of my sensuality that they could never do in their lifetimes.

After overcoming domestic violence and sexual assault in my youth, I determined that I would inspire and guide others to do the same.

I no longer hate my body.  I am no longer ashamed of the curve of my hips, or of my cleavage.

I have been married and divorced twice.  I have dated since I moved to Denver.  I own that whether I choose to be celibate, sleep with one person, or more than one person, I am proud of my body and my sensuality.

With tantric principles, I redefined sensual experiences that used to be filled with deeply traumatic sadness.  I reclaimed self-pleasure as powerful, as a way of nourishing the self. 

I began to GIVE to myself and what I need sensually, instead of abandoning myself for others.  I began to CHERISH what is our beautiful birthright, to practice sacred sensuality.

Perhaps you or others you know may view s*x outside marriage as p*rnographic.  Perhaps you too have thought of your own body parts as dirty, tainted, shameful.

I ask you to remember deep within your soul, that we have a divine spark within us.  That long ago, the god AND the goddess were celebrated and revered.  That sensuality was honored as sacred.

I have found in my own practice of coming home to my body that my anxiety has lessened.  That I have increased my joy, which is half of the equation of abundance (joy+money = abundance).  When I dance, when I sing, when I self-pleasure, or engage in sacred sensuality with another, I increase that joy.

When you combine a beautiful intention with your sensuality, it’s your invitation to create something sacred.  You awaken your chi, your life force.  When intentionally sensual, you create something glorious.

As you read this, my hope is that something inside of you activates and remembers the ancient ways.  When we revered our existence as goddesses and gods on this earth.  When we knew that the Creator was outside of us AND inside of us.  That we only forgot because of the duality of everything on this earth.

If you would like to work with me in a trauma-informed container to begin to own your sensuality and remember who you are, I would be honored to serve you as your sister.

You can work with me, the embodied woman who was once an ashamed girl.  She didn’t know her worth.  But she knows it now.

I will see you there.

How to work with me online:

·       Get a clarity reading on Zoom (Akashic Records)

·       Sign up for individual Love, S*x, & Relationships coaching (Pleasure Palace) - scroll to the bottom

·       Sign up for business coaching (Brand Seduction Coaching)

·       And save the dates for upcoming workshops with more details to be announced:

o   July 24, 2025 for men with Joseph Carringer

o   October TBD  - a witchy event with Emily Vallario

How to work with me in person:

·  June 14, 2025 9 - 11 am Get a Mini Clarity Reading at Hippie Dippie Wonderland (a Beauty Boost event in Denver)

·  June 17, 2025 5-10 pm Get a Spicy Love Reading at the Denver Kink Market

·       June 24, 2025 7:30 – 9 pm at Sakala in Denver: Solo Sex Magic for Social Justice – Temple of the Goddess Series with Kass Gomez from Inspired Warrior Project

·       September 20, 2025 7:30 – 9 pm at Sakala in Denver: Body Paint & Ecstatic Dance – Temple of the Goddess Series

·       October 19 – 24, 2025 Temple of the Goddess – Sacred Sensuality Retreat in Kona, Hawaii

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO